I run a nail salon, it’s on my property, and it’s just me and my clients all day. I can not even count the number of times I’ve met someone for the first time and know their life story by the end of their session. I’m pretty open about my life so I think my clients just totally get that I’m real and they can talk to me about ANYTHING. Here are the top 5 one liners I can think of off the top if my head. I’ll add more every couple days….

1. My husband bought me a feather tickler and some Kegel balls! We’re trying to spice things up…..

2. I want my nails SHARP….by husband likes it when I tickle the underside of his balls…..
Me: “Ummmmm, would you like start by washing your hands?”

3. My husband is requesting my nails be LESS sharp….I’m leaving welts from digging into his back while having sex….

4. “Don’t tell me you’ve never given your husband a rim job! We’ve all done it!”
Me: “Ummmmm, nope, I’ve seriously NEVER done that…..and NO I don’t want a drink of your coffee”

5. If I was a lesbian I would totally fuck you…..
Me: WOW!!! I’m flattered, if I was a lesbian I might take you up on that!”

You can’t make this stuff up….well I could but these are real….I promise! Lol.