Tag Archive | blog

Go Love Yourself

This morning one of my friends told me I inspired her. I think those were the words she used. My jaw about dropped to the floor since I don’t look ay myself as inspiring in any way. However, as I sit here and write this, I think “why can’t I be inspiring?” I have confessed my mental illness, I most definitely have an eating disorder from years of being told I needed to lose weight. My weight has been in the forefront of my mind for pretty much the last 15 years. I want to be healthy, but it’s certainly not healthy to obsess either. INSTEAD, I am going to work on loving myself right now and taking off the conditions I have put on myself. Like “I’ll love myself more when I lose 10 pounds.” As I write this I realize how RIDICULOUS that even sounds. We want other people to love us unconditionally, but many of us, including myself, aren’t willing to love ourselves unconditionally.

Today is a pretty good day for me mentally. I have woken up all week with 10+ hours of sleep and feeling guilty for not going to the gym. You know what? FUCK IT…..I’m OK!!! The gym does not validate me. GOD validates me. If you don’t believe in God then find something higher than yourself, but also including yourself, and put your value in that. It’s 11:55am and I’m still in my bathrobe, drinking my coffee. I need to go put dinner in the crock pot and get ready to start my day. I work in 30 minutes and I could be telling myself what a loser I am for having done nothing of real importance yet this morning but you know what? Someone told me I inspire them, and that inspired me to write this blog. If it wasn’t for my friend Dawn’s small amount of validation this morning I never would have taken a few minutes to sit down and write this blog. I LOVE to blog. It’s my favorite hobby. I get to sit here and put my thoughts out into the world and hope that someone reads them. Maybe my words will resognate with soemone else. I also get to sit here and watch my cat be a spaz.

Go out and be a FUCKING dragon or a unicorn! Just don’t be an asshole. No one likes an asshole. Don’t be intimidated to love yourself. I’m still working on it.

Love,

~B

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Meet Florence….

  
Meet Florence….She has a slight partying problem. Everyday I come out to see this….I stand her back up; but every night she keeps falling over. I’ve decided that the problem is real. She’s got a drinking problem. I’ve threatened to put her in Roosters anonymous, because I LOVE Florence! A tin rooster intervention! Why does she keep falling over!? Doesn’t she love me too!!??? Ugh. The failing relationship between a human and her rooster…..

Blogging, Realism, and Cheerleading 

I’m a realist. Everything is what it is. We have the power to changer certain aspects of our lives. We can exercise more, eat less junk, read more books etc….you get the point. What can we not change? Our mental health. We can do things to HELP; like see a psychiatrist, counseling, take medication, meditate, or pray. I personally struggle with social anxiety. I’m super social. I love people. I love random conversations. I love when my fitness instructor pushes me in class. These are empowering. The most empowering tool I have to reduce anxiety is to write.

I take anxiety meds, medication to control my ever changing moods. But at the end of the day, blogging/writing is the therapy that gets me through. I started this blog so I wouldn’t feel alone. I know I’m not alone. It’s scary putting yourself out there for all the world to see. To be vulnerable to criticism. People might think “wow! She’s brave” and if you think that then thank you. But at then end of the day I don’t necessarily see myself as brave. I see myself as a broken individual who is happy to have friends who Accept me for who I am. People I can rely on to be my cheerleaders. I encourage you to find your own cheerleaders. Even if it’s just one or two people. Which is really all we need. We have different people for different areas of our lives. I have my cheerleaders at the gym, my cheerleaders in my personal struggles, my cheerleaders for my mental health….etc. I surround myself with all of these people because it’s what I personally need. What I need may be drastically different than what you need. It’s not wrong it’s just different. I also encourage you to be your own cheerleader! 

Love,
~B

Dreams and Nonsense 

Disclaimer: I deal with uncomfortable topics about myself with humor. I don’t know if anyone will find the humor in this…but here it goes….

I did some blood work and my body was burning through my meds pretty fast. So my doctor upped my dose of medication. Slowly obviously. I’m on an anti-psychotic. Ok, now take that in….I have to sometimes laugh at this. ANTI-PSYCHOTIC…..to quote my favorite author Jenny Lawson, “Just tell everyone in the pharmacy line that your impatiently waiting to get your anti-psychotic and watch the line part like Moses and the Red Sea!” 

(Let me wipe my tears of laughter). 

Quick side note; I just sneezed/laughed and half my anti-anxiety meds just came out. I think it’s justifiable to grab another. I need a good nights sleep which is where this post is going eventually…..

Ok, soooo, I’ve been taking these meds at night because their supposed to make you tired. However; I’ve been having the most VIVID weirdest dreams. I have a friend Jaimie who does nails and I dreamt that she could do an entire sea sculpture on someone’s nails! (She’s fantastic, but wow!) If she could do what I dreamt she’d be a millionaire. Or….people would have sea horses on their nails. Either way it’s a win/win. Because really, who WOULDN’T want a cute little sea horse on their nails! Maybe I should call her….

Ok, I’m getting off track. And for the record, until I started this new dose of medication, I NEVER dreamt. I see as a common theme in the dreams lately is that just before I wake up in the morning my dream usually pertains to my situation currently. Many of you know my children so I’ll protect their privacy…(that won’t last long). One day when I have a book published I promise they’ll get a cut. Actually they probably won’t, because if my son gets into a musical theatre school, and my daughter becomes a veterinarian, this book MIGHT pay for that! Except this isn’t a book. But if you want to pay to read this I can send you my address as to where you can mail a check. It’s for a good cause….children’s education!

ANYWAY….I have these dreams and their so vivid, some are disturbing and some I wake up going “huh”???? I’m still thinking I need to call Jaimie to see if she knows about this ocean sculpture nail stuff….maybe I have telepathy!? 

So, here’s the real test. TONIGHT I’m not taking it. (I really need to sleep). Instead I’m going to take it in the morning. (Will I day dream?) 🤔

Side note: did you know your in REM sleep when your dreaming? I wouldn’t think so because if I can REMEMBER my dreams on a nightly basis, I’m thinking I’m not getting much quality sleep.

I’ll let you know what I find out. Oh, and I changed Siri to the make British dude today because that’s what it was in one of my dreams….that’s right folks! Following my dreams!!! 
~B😏

Got Facebook?

Come like a new page! Where mental illness is not a “taboo” subject….and truly, I’m looking to not feel alone in this journey. Don’t want to post because it’s public? Send me a message, we could chat anonymously and decide to   post it to get feedback (anonymously)….I’m hoping to build a community…..plus we need to talk about relationships, friends, CHILDREN….I love to talk and blog. I’m a tad socially awkward but hopefully you can look beyond that…..I think I’m funny……come laugh, and maybe spend some time on a new page that’s looking for some love and acceptance. 😁🙏😏 you can’t just like this post, you have to come INTO the page and LIKE the page🙏 this is just a promotional post that reaches thousands more people than promoting the page itself. Weird, I know….come on in! 

Confessions of a Nail Tech- The Blog 

~B❤️

  

Confession of a Nail Tech- The Blog

We All Possess A Trunk! 

Random fact….”The Trunk or torso is an anatomical term for the central part of the many animal bodies (including that of the human) from which extend the neck and limbs. The trunk includes the thorax and the abdomen.”
So in my screwy way of thinking…I possess a TRUNK! Either way that’s what elephants possess. Just a different body part! SOOOOO…….elephants are BRILLIANT! Which means technically I’ve been right my whole life…I am brilliant! Now if everyone could see this that’d be great! 🙏
(Let’s face it, God HAD to give us a different kind of trunk or we’d all go around looking like we had penis’ on our faces, and THAT would be weird)!😜