I have joined the challenge of the website oneword365.com I am excited to share this journey with you and I challenge YOU to sign up to blog YOUR personal One Word as well. I would love to hear how your ONE WORD has/will change your life…..
~B
Archives
Change Your Life…..
Only YOU can change your life……happy New Years!
Quote of the Day
So true!!!!!
It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.
– Confucius
Me…..an Inspiration???
I’ve recently been called an “inspiration” by several people. This ALWAYS and forever will throw me out of my seat. I don’t look at myself that way. I just look at myself as someone who has been through a lot for someone my age (I’m 36, I’ll be 37 May 2). But honestly there are people out there who have been through far worse than I’ve been through. I mean let’s face it…..people have been through worse than I’ve been through…..cancer (one of my best friends is battling brain cancer), this same woman just battled stage 3 colon cancer 3 years ago! She’s a survivor. I have no doubt she’ll kick brain cancers ASS!
I suppose I should take Ash Beckham’s advice and not measure “my hard against other people’s hard and commiserate on the fact that we all have hard” Which by the way….changed how I view my life; I’ve said this several times now….and I mean it.If you had met me 2-5 years ago you probably would’ve hated me. In fact I look back and feel disappointed with who I was. I was a judgmental, uptight, church going JERK……if you did something that I remotely thought you’d go to hell for I would pretty much tell you just that. I know, I know….NOT a good quality to portray. For we are called NOT to JUDGE but to LOVE. Unfortunately the ASSHOLE pastor, who cannot be named, (see what I did there?😉) did not preach the same. He CLAIMED to preach love for all, but when it really boiled down to it, he was a hypocritical, judgmental, only looking out for himself, and what he could get from others….ASSHOLE!! (I hope he reads this someday). I look back and feel like my soul had been molested. (Harsh I know, but totally how I view it). I’ve been a pretty bitter bitch for about 3 years over that whole matter. And bitter for years BEFORE that due to a million other mishaps in my life. BUT….I do have control to move on from those experiences and realize that this pastor is a sad, broken, and lonely man who needs Jesus more than anyone I’ve ever met. (He’s still an asshole though)….yes in areas I’m still a judgmental bitch….but I’m working on it! Progress not perfection right!?
Let’s see….I have my own battles I’ve fought. I cheated on my children’s dad (whom I wasn’t married to) with a man 16 years older than me whom I married only for him to eventually commit suicide by shooting himself IN THE HEART, IN OUR BED!!!!….karma? Maybe. Talk about leaving a girl FUCKED UP!!!! (I told you there would be language). My poor husband now has had quite a ride since we got married 10 months after my first husband died. (More on that later). My husband now is seriously somewhat of a saint depending on the day and whether or not I’m PMSing! Lol. Ok…that’s enough for tonight. But I PROMISE I will elaborate on these stories over time! I can’t feed you to much in one session right?
~B
Merry Christmas….let’s commiserate on our “closets”
Today is Christmas Eve. It has also been a day of spiritual and personal enlightenment as I chatted with my family individually today (meaning my husband, son, and daughter). My husband and I have been married 5 1/2 years. It’s been a tough road and I take most of the responsibility. As we chatted I told him that about 30 days ago I started my “positivity journey”. I watched a video (posted below in a separate post….WATCH IT…..it changed my vision on my life).
Why did it change my life you ask? Because we all have closets; places we live, and don’t want/allow anyone to hold a key to our lock because we’re afraid our skeletons will all come tumbling out. But in all honesty, why do we care so much? I mean really? It’s because we’re all afraid of being JUDGED. Judgement is one of our #1 fears…..just admit it….that IS the first “step” right?😉
Generally these skeletons are in the past and hopefully we’ve learned from them. Sometimes, like myself, we have to revisit these places to remember “oh yes, I don’t want to go here again because it hurts.” We all have “closets” and we all peer out of the keyhole DESPERATELY wondering if there is someone who is in our similar situation. We wonder, am I the only one who’s ever committed adultery? Are there any other homosexuals in my school who are aching to be honest about who they are? Is anyone else struggling with their looks, eating disorder, cancer, or any of the other hard conversations we so many times choose not to have. (Watch the video I posted and this will make more sense). But here’s the deal…..we ALL HAVE skeletons….things we’re ashamed to admit.
Your soon to find out a LOT about me. Lol. You may wonder “why is this girl so incredibly open about her life?” We’ll let me answer this for you….it’s because I’ve decided I feel I have nothing left to hide. Maybe if I “come out of my closet” (and not in the homosexual sense) it’ll empower people to be more brave to step “out of their closets” in their own lives. (I don’t care what your walls are made of, WE ALL HAVE CLOSETS!!!! We are so worried about what other people think, and rightfully so….but if we can all commiserate on the fact that we have “closets” maybe….just maybe…..we can find some common ground.
In preparation for the upcoming blog entries I have somewhat of a clue about what I want to say….and in another way….this is kinda scary. Clearly there could be scrutiny, BUT those people aren’t telling my story because I’m holding the script. I’m continuing to write the script of my life. I can guarantee I will skip around from one event to another and not in order; please bear with me….☺️
I want to be a leader….even if it’s only to followers online. (Although I won’t lie, my dream is to be interviewed by Ellen Degeneres someday)…..but that’s another story….
~B
Face it, We all Have Closets
This is one of the most inspirational videos I have ever watched. It has helped me realize how we all “have closets” and we need to not measure our hard to everyone else’s hard and just commiserate that we all have closets.”
Confessions of a Nail Tech 