Friendship and Trust….

Feb13

Today I felt just slightly abused

I felt like I was wrongly accused…

My feelings are valid whether you think so or not

Forgiveness is not something I freely give out a whole lot…

Years upon years you judged me so freely

People say that you didn’t but I see it so clearly…

Maybe they are right, maybe you didn’t mean what you did

But you abandoned so easily, like I was a bad kid…

We can’t be around you if you do such things Bridget

The thought of these words are so not kindly forgotten.

You can say what you want and I have slightly forgiven

But trust is something you earn not feeling given…

~B

Ode to My Clients and Fans…

Feb12

Tonight on my Facebook I reached 1606 LIKES

This is so incredible and makes me so psyched…

When I first started, I was so far from good

But people gave me a chance, and said that I could…

People believed in me even when I did not believe in myself

I wanted to put my brush way up high on a shelf…

You assured me I was good enough, just keep practicing you’d say

I never believed I’d be where I am today…

I have so many clients in whom I adore

It literally makes me cry if one has to permanently walk out the door…

Many of these girls are like sisters to me,

I know their life stories because they trust there stories with me…

I feel so blessed to have a career like I do

Sometimes I look at it and can’t believe that it’s true…

So many of you have impacted my life

You know my lives stresses and even my strifes…

You share your most intimate stories with me

Thank you for trusting me for I could never foresee…

1606 is sure a lot of great peeps

Thank you so much for sharing I think I will get some PHENOMENAL SLEEP!

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Nails-by-Bridget/202733683114481

Nails with Anchors I did....

Nails with Anchors I did….

Top 10 Ways to be a GREAT Parent…(in my opinion)…

Feb12

1. ALWAYS DISCIPLINE

2. YOUR CHILDREN COME FIRST…THEY DIDN’T ASK TO BE BORN OUT OF YOUR VAGINA….Don’t be a douche and put them last

3. DON’T BE SCARED OF YOUR CHILDREN…Make them fear you like you fear the Lord (or whatever you believe in…Like karma)

4. SET BOUNDARIES EARLY…AS SOON AS THEY CAN UNDERSTAND THE WORD “NO!” This hands off parenting is bull crap!

5. MAKE YOUR CHILDREN WORK FOR WHAT THEY WANT…NOTHING SHOULD BE FREE (they want a new toy? Make them help you do something you wouldn’t normally have them do like wash windows or dust)

6. YOU ARE THE MOM….YOU MAKE THE RULES…NOT YOUR KIDS (Do NOT give in to whining! They are smart! Your life will be ruled by a whining brat in public, do you really want that?)

7 . TEENAGERS ARE NOT SCARY IF YOU TEACH THEM “NO” AS TODDLERS (Ask my kids what happens if they pester me after I have told them “no”) I promise it’s not good….

8. YOUR CHILD HAS A SYNDROME? THINK ABOUT SOME MEDICATION SO THE REST OF SOCIETY CAN FUNCTION (I’m not saying to medicate your kids like zombies, but a good ADHD or anxiety medication never hurt a kid!)

9. YOUR KIDS WILL DO WHAT THEY WANT AS TEENS…DO NOT ENABLE ( I just had a talk with my kids…I said, “If you screw up, I WILL NOT rescue you! You will suffer your consequences”

10. FOLLOW STEPS 1-9 AND YOU WILL BE A GREAT MOM/PARENT!

I am Narcissism…You May Hear Me Roar…

Feb12

I was going to start a different blog to talk about this because it is fairly hard for me to discuss. I wanted it to be anonymous but I realized the reason for this is so that I didn’t have to be accountable to the many people who know me and are following me. It doesn’t happen all the time, but there are times where I go into a super self-righteous, bitch mode.(generally never at work). There are many areas of my life that I have fixed and sometimes I can’t understand why people don’t LISTEN to me….If you are ever caught in this cross-fire, I apologize now…..maybe…

See, I have had a TON of life experience. I don’t understand sometimes why people don’t listen to me more often. Now I don’t claim to know EVERYTHING, but I do claim to know A LOT….Unfortunately this doesn’t always come out loving and kind. Sometimes it comes out as a know-it-a-l-l-….Generally this side of me only comes out to immediate family members (Sorry hubby) but sometimes it can come across to family and friends as crazy narcissism.

I still might start another blog for such conversations because I have so much to say and sometimes I just don’t know how to come across “politically correct” nor do I feel like I should have to. But because so many clients and friends are following me, I just don’t know how comfortable I am talking about such personal things even though this is why I designed this blog! I feel super sad, and super confused….

I would love some insight….Do you have another blog that no one knows about?

Narcissist

The Church and It’s People…

Feb9

This morning I am sitting here so quiet and so still

Wondering why God has brought me to this place in my life

A transition for sure as I examine my will…

So much pain, so much sorrow, happiness too…

In my world I’m content which seems so taboo

I’d like to think I’ve made a nice life for myself

Then a man points out I’ve put God on a shelf

I won’t deny that part of this statement is true

The church that I went to often made me feel blue

Church is supposed to be an uplifting place

I would leave most Sundays with a confused look on my face

He’d say; “Go out and love others as Jesus would do”

Then say, but But don’t hang with sinners for their a bad influence on you

I was constantly confused for I never knew my place

For many good reasons I stopped attending this place

For me it’s about what God does in your heart

A church is just a building as I see it for the most part

I do miss the fellowship with like-minded people

But I don’t need the building to find such people

I have many clients I have found who love God

Most all of us have been hurt and feel like we’re in some kind of fog

Don’t let one man stand in your way you say

He has no business pastoring in my opinion anyway

He is a self righteous, arrogant man

Who has no business being up on the stand

He is not a people person you say to me

Then why is he pastoring people to lead?

It confuses me as to why God has chosen this man to lead

But I suppose I should not question the one higher than me

I will find out my answers when he calls me home

Until then I’d like to be left alone

Alone meaning not badgered for what I feel or believe

For just because its right for you does not mean its right for me

I think that your view of me is not quite as it should be

But I also believe church has done this to keep you away from me

You made judgements that aren’t even remotely true

For friends don’t do that they come and listen to you

10 years of friendship and you don’t come ask me straight up

You just assume that you see me for what you think you should see

I will tell you my friend that yesterday was quite hurtful as you told me to give up things I don’t even frequently do

We have barely seen each other these last few years so don’t assume that you know me like you used to

Just because you can get past the hurt and the pain

Does not mean that I can do the same

I do not feel like my anger is all consuming

I just wont put myself in the same position to be hurt once again

You say, “She doesn’t know that she hurt you so bad”

Well yes she does because I told her my brother

She appologized for the way she behaved 11 months later

But 11 months is so long when you finally loathe her

She slowly turned everyone against me, I think even you, though you don’t seem to see

Which is a travesty because you are like a brother to me

You can not raise your voice thinking I will listen

It makes me shut down and lash out later as I’ve given myself some time to reason

Who do you think you are accusing me of such things?

You clearly don’t know me and the rest is history….

Maybe someday we can see eye to eye

But please don’t assume I sit around and just lie

I feel like I’m nothing but brutally honest

And for you to question me is what is the oddest

I will come to the funeral my brother

But it will be the last time I step foot in that place

For no one who matters cares enough to see the hurt in my face

I feel so happy you are in a peaceful place

But the hurt that I have was written all over my face

All you could do was tell me I was wrong

Feelings are feelings regardless of fault

Maybe I can say you are a better person than I

But I think many people like me for me

I don’t pretend to be someone I’m not

Not saying you do I just feel so caught

My silence is about to be no more

I will end this here as I say I love you once more….

Thank you….

Feb9

I’d like to thank the people who follow my blog

It’s just an account of the voices that I sit here and log….

I don’t feel worthy to have 50+ peeps

Thank you for sharing this journey and taking the leap!

The things that I write just come off the top of my head

I don’t spend a lot if time editing; I just write what I feel needs to be said…

So many blogs you could choose to follow

You’ve chosen mine and I thought I’d fly solo…

Thank you to everyone who Likes my posts

Comments are fun for I love to interact; it makes this whole blog thing so fun to host!

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The Husband

Feb8

My husband is a man of patience and loyalty

He whispers that I’m beautiful and treats me like royalty…

He’s put up with so much as I have worked through my pain

Sometimes I wonder if he stays wondering what’s left to gain…

I don’t know why he puts up with a wretch like me

I think if I were him I would toss me into the sea…

I am not an easy person to love for I wish it was so

Underneath it all I fall way below…

His patience baffles me on a daily basis

I sit and stand and I do lots of pacing

I do not feel worthy as I stop and reflect

It give me chills when he kisses my neck…

My hope is that he’ll stay through thick and through thin

Because I don’t think I’ll find another person like him….

The Pain

Feb8

Crying brings such an emotional relief

Relief that can come when your really in need….

God knows the pain that’s so deep within

I’m crying and crying over my friend…

True friends only come but once in awhile

She was one person who could always make me smile….

The anguish I feel is so deep and unreal

I want it to be over and for my soul to heal…

She’s not even passed but the moment is soon

I saw her today at 9:30 and left around noon….

She will no longer be in pain, as she gets to go hang with Jesus

But it’s hard for us here when we don’t want her to leave us….

The River

Feb8

The river is beautiful just as God planned

Beautiful waters rushing over the rocks and the sand….

Waterfalls rushing into beautiful streams

I then see the river rushing towards me…..

Scenery so beautiful you just stop in the glare

It’s a beauty you see rarely so it’s hard not to stare…

Waterfalls and rivers are all Gods creation

Feeling so grateful to live in such a beautiful region….

Southern Oregon has some of the most beautiful places

Take some time to explore these extraordinary destinations….

~B

I’d Like to Kick Cancers A–!!

Feb8

I sit hear thinking and feeling so sad

Thinking I’d like to kick cancers ass…

With all the advancements I don’t understand

Why people are dying in doctors hands…..

It’s just so unfair and I’m angry and scared

For what if I’m next and completely impaired…

Fighting for life and in the blink of an eye

Now we are forced to say goodbye….

I know cancer happens and this is not the last

But I’d really just love to be able to kick cancers ass…..

Face it, We all Have Closets

Feb7

I think everyone should take a moment to examine their own closets….

Confessions of a Nail Tech's avatarConfessions of a Nail Tech

This is one of the most inspirational videos I have ever watched. It has helped me realize how we all “have closets” and we need to not measure our hard to everyone else’s hard and just commiserate that we all have closets.”

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Moments Like These….

Feb7

In moments like these I feel so lost

You were my best friend and now I’m just in a fog….

I don’t know what to say, and surely don’t know what to do

But what I do know is how much I really love you….

You were my voice of reason more often than not

And all I knew then was I loved you a lot….

Heaven is just but a blink away

But here on earth forever I wish you could stay….

If you’d throw in a good word for me while your up there

Forever I’d be grateful from way down here….

I bet Heaven is more beautiful than any if us can imagine

Know that in time we can’t wait to join you in the Lord’s giant mansion…

Saying goodbye for now just seems so final

But I know I’ll see you again when I make my arrival….

Love,

~B

She is My Daughter…

Feb6

My daughter is like a breath of fresh air

I look at her sometimes and it’s just so hard not to stare…

She is such a remarkable, wonderful girl

I know someday a boy will make her head whirl…

I worry so much about her heart getting hurt

He better make his feelings plain and overt…

She will forever be eight in my head and my eyes

He will be very sorry if he should make her cry…

I will whisper to him “I’m not afraid to BACK to prison

For pissing this mother off is deeply forbidden…

I will not hesitate to slowly make you suffer in pain

So do not hurt my daughter it’s not worth what you think you might gain…

Parenting a Teen

Feb6

Overprotective I am, for it’s not hard to admit

This world is so scary I just want to throw a big fit…

My son is one of the most amazing people in this place

I would be so transformed to never, ever again see his face…

I try not to let the fear paralyze me

But sometimes it’s so hard to just let him be…

I picture my world without his sweet face

A blanket of fear rides in all over this place…

I must let him spread his wings in this very big world

He’s not getting into trouble; I know this for sure

His teen years will go by in a very fast blur…

I worry thinking “Did I teach him just right?”

Then I remember he has his mothers courageous fight…

It’s just so hard to let go of his precious hand

But, I have raised a good boy and a wonderful young man…

I find myself lucky that he’s just drinking soda not beer

Hanging out with his choir class members; I really need not be in fear…

This is his first sleepover since probably fifth grade

I know it’s ok, and my fear needs to be kept at bay….

I raised him and guided him to make good choices

Now its up to him to listen to those voices…

We All Deserve to Feel Healthy…..

Feb6

I look at my friends around me. One has brain cancer and on other had lupus. They are forced to eat healthy because their bodies give them no choice. I was in yoga today barely able to move. I feel inflamed throughout my body. I thought what an I doing to my body by eating all this man made crap? I won’t be perfect but I’m going to try eating as clean and gluten free as possible. Last year in March-May when did this I was by far the healthiest I ever felt. Don’t I owe to myself and to my friends and family to eat healthy? It’s not all that hard. Just takes a little more planning. I know I can do this! It’s time to listen to my body and start giving it what it NEEDS. NOT what it wants!