Tag Archive | inspirational

Not always…..

I want to make something really clear. I LOVE to write! I love to hear what people have to say in regards to my writings. What I need you to understand is that I will NOT always be inspirational. Sometimes I will be off colored, and possibly a little crude. Inspirational is who I genuinely am, but I am also light-hearted with wit and humor. I sometimes like to go for “shock effect” so to speak. This is also part of who I am. I do NOT want to be thought of as some stuffy, uptight Christian girl who thinks life is all about rainbows and unicorns, because this would NOT be an accurate picture of me as a full person. Sometimes I feel like I have turrets syndrome and say the most RANDOM things like, “You face looks like a giant vagina, you should wax your lip and chin!” (just an example, I have never actually said this…BUT I have thought it!) It’s because I seriously have a weird sense of humor. I’m also very open about my life which is cause for LOTS of feedback, which is fine. If you have the need to tell me that you feel like I and “going to hell” then you are certainly welcome to do that, but know that I will strike back so hot that you will wish that you kept your mouth shut….This is MY blog, and MY life, so I am going to run the show, not my readers. Would I LOVE to have a giant group of followers someday? Absolutely! But that takes time. I am NOT looking for instant fame, or for fame at all. I am looking for people to follow me who are REAL. People who have everyday, shitty problems, that sometimes need a laugh. I want to provide humor, wit AND inspiration. There can be balance. So I will say this now, I am SORRY if I offend you in any way as that is not my intention. However, I am a human being with real thoughts and feelings and I plan to show it off from time to time. Life is short, and I plan to be whoever I want to be without dictation from anyone. As long as I am not hurting anyone than I don’t remotely see a problem. If you start to read a piece I’ve written and decide “This post isn’t for me” then I encourage you to immediately click out of it. BUT….DO NOT JUDGE ME….some of you know me and some of you don’t. I wear many hats and like I said, while I like to be inspirational, I also like to be a bit off colored; its part of what makes me….ME…..

~B

This random psychedelic  bus I saw parked at the beach last summer. I was enamored that someone DROVE this! AWESOME!

This random psychedelic bus I saw parked at the beach last summer. I was enamored that someone DROVE this! AWESOME!

My friend Cristy and I at a reggae concert last summer! OMG!!! One of the most fun nights ever! (I am on the left).

My friend Cristy and I at a reggae concert last summer! OMG!!! One of the most fun nights ever! (I am on the left).

My children...they TOTALLY take after their mother!

My children…they TOTALLY take after their mother!

My motto in life.....

My motto in life…..

It’s a Fine Balance…

I believe a balanced life is a difficult life to obtain. Balance is extremely delicate. Balance means knowing what you can personally handle and when you need a break. Balance means knowing when to schedule “you” time. I’m not very good with balance. I tend to be over focused on work, my kids, and running my business which is a nail salon located next door to my house. I feel like I live a very privileged life and I am by no means complaining. I have children who are good kids, a wonderful husband, and dedicated friends who constantly have my back. I created this blog to give me some “me” time. It’s my way of sorting out my thoughts while receiving feedback from my readers.

A little about my current life, I have two teenagers who are almost 13 and almost 15. I was a pretty disconnected mom when they were little causing me to feel like I needed to overcompensate for my inactivity in their lives once their step-dad died. When my husband passed away when they were 6 and 8 I realized how I needed to step up my game as a mom and earn the title….so to speak. I promised my son and daughter that I would NEVER again allow someone to come between us the way I had allowed my former husband to. In response to this my 8-year-old son says to me, and I quote, “Your here now mom and that’s all that matters.” Children are so forgiving. Please don’t mistake me as a mother who abandoned her children for that was not the case. However, you know those moments when your present but you’re not really present? That was me…I would use the tv as a babysitter, I would call their dad or my mom to come get them as I was selfish and wanted to hang out with my then boyfriend whom I later married….big mistake in some ways, but in others I’m not sure I would be who I am today without that experience. So maybe God saw an opportunity to teach me a few things along the way since I I was hellbent on being stubborn.

I got married to a man I’d known for years 10 months after my first husband passed away.Gary and I have been married for 5 1/2 years. For the record, I never cheated. Some people assume that since I got married so fast that I must have been cheating; that was not the case. In our case, I was involved a church that preached heavily about not having sex before marriage which was pretty much the basis of why we got married so fast. Don’t get me wrong, I believe Gary and I would have ended up getting married eventually, just not as fast as we did. But since we did, “honor God” I do believe that God helps us out when things are sticky around here.And this last year has been hell. I think I started to develop a drinking problem this past year, and suffered horribly from depression. As I have stepped back, I have realized that I don’t have a drinking problem. My problem is that I was horribly depressed for many reasons which made me want to drink. Since I have gotten my hormones and depression under control this is no longer an issue. THANK GOD!

My point is this, I am a mom FIRST, because my kids did not ask to be brought into this world, a wife second and everything else comes after that. My husband would argue that he comes last, and in all reality he is probably right. See, I am OBSESSIVE about raising good human beings, I’m extremely dedicated to my job, and friends, and when it comes to my husband (who is AMAZING) I am typically stretched so thin that I oftentimes just want to retreat to being alone so I can just veg out. BECAUSE I AM HORRIBLE WITH BALANCE!

For example, we had quite the bombshell dropped on us several weeks ago. Since it had to do with one of my children it’s all I have been dealing with for the last several weeks…which is totally fine. My son desperately needed me and I was happy to be there for him. However, I am EXHAUSTED mentally! Between that situation and working an extreme amount of hours during the holidays, I have had NO downtime. This is the first weekend my kids have not been home in several weeks. Their dad and I used to split them one week on and one week off; we’ve been on that schedule, for the most part, since they were one and three; so their entire lives. They came to live with Gary and I full-time in May of this last year. It was quite a change having them full-time. It was overwhelming but ultimately the best decision for the children. Honestly, I was ELATED that this was the new plan, because I am ultimately the better parent (Brian, their dad, says the same thing). My kids and I have developed a new-found bond that is tighter than ever. Now that they have reached junior high and high school they need someone who can focus their full attention on where they are, what they are doing, and it works out perfectly.

However; I still need to find balance, I need to find a better balance, one that makes my husband feel more included, and part of me wonders if it really exists…..Any thoughts?

This post only gave you a tip of the iceberg on my background. I promise to continue to post posts that will put a lot of detail in more perspective. If you would like me write a specific post, on something you would like to know more about, please feel free to comment and ask.

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Quiet mornings…will they ever exist?

This morning I was looking forward to sitting here drinking my coffee, writing a new post, and enjoying the SILENCE that I never receive due to having a family. For example, I figured my husband would sleep in today and I could have about an hour of blog time. However, he must have heard his beautiful wife get up to seize the day which has resulted in him now wanting to chat my ear off! The dogs are running around like maniacs and my peace and quiet is no longer. I will CHOOSE to not be annoyed by this, but to be thankful that I do have a family to cause the little bit of disrupted time I do have and “go with the flow.” My creative juices are best when it is utterly QUIET….when the doggies are in their beds, there is no rustling of the newspaper beside me, etc….etc….Can anyone relate to this?

This is where my blog is ending for the morning. I am going to CHOOSE to not let my disrupted fantasies of a quiet morning ruin my day , but to be thankful that I have people in my life to disrupt my quiet morning…lol. Because this year…2014, I choose to be INSPIRED and to be INSPIRING despite these little annoyances. I hope you all have a wonderful day! I am off to work to INSPIRE clients with meaningful conversation, and to send them off with BEAUTIFUL nails that they will hopefully marvel at for the next 3-4 weeks before I see them again!

Have a SUPER-FANTASTIC DAY!!!!

~B

This is a picture I took at the beach last summer. It inspires me to be thankful and to be happy!I have also included a picture of my hubby and one of our beloved pooches, Bailee our labradoodle, to give you a visual of my family….Have a great day!

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Merry Christmas….let’s commiserate on our “closets”

Today is Christmas Eve. It has also been a day of spiritual and personal enlightenment as I chatted with my family individually today (meaning my husband, son, and daughter). My husband and I have been married 5 1/2 years. It’s been a tough road and I take most of the responsibility. As we chatted I told him that about 30 days ago I started my “positivity journey”. I watched a video (posted below in a separate post….WATCH IT…..it changed my vision on my life).

Why did it change my life you ask? Because we all have closets; places we live, and don’t want/allow anyone to hold a key to our lock because we’re afraid our skeletons will all come tumbling out. But in all honesty, why do we care so much? I mean really? It’s because we’re all afraid of being JUDGED. Judgement is one of our #1 fears…..just admit it….that IS the first “step” right?😉

Generally these skeletons are in the past and hopefully we’ve learned from them. Sometimes, like myself, we have to revisit these places to remember “oh yes, I don’t want to go here again because it hurts.” We all have “closets” and we all peer out of the keyhole DESPERATELY wondering if there is someone who is in our similar situation. We wonder, am I the only one who’s ever committed adultery? Are there any other homosexuals in my school who are aching to be honest about who they are? Is anyone else struggling with their looks, eating disorder, cancer, or any of the other hard conversations we so many times choose not to have. (Watch the video I posted and this will make more sense). But here’s the deal…..we ALL HAVE skeletons….things we’re ashamed to admit.

Your soon to find out a LOT about me. Lol. You may wonder “why is this girl so incredibly open about her life?” We’ll let me answer this for you….it’s because I’ve decided I feel I have nothing left to hide. Maybe if I “come out of my closet” (and not in the homosexual sense) it’ll empower people to be more brave to step “out of their closets” in their own lives. (I don’t care what your walls are made of, WE ALL HAVE CLOSETS!!!! We are so worried about what other people think, and rightfully so….but if we can all commiserate on the fact that we have “closets” maybe….just maybe…..we can find some common ground.

In preparation for the upcoming blog entries I have somewhat of a clue about what I want to say….and in another way….this is kinda scary. Clearly there could be scrutiny, BUT those people aren’t telling my story because I’m holding the script. I’m continuing to write the script of my life. I can guarantee I will skip around from one event to another and not in order; please bear with me….☺️

I want to be a leader….even if it’s only to followers online. (Although I won’t lie, my dream is to be interviewed by Ellen Degeneres someday)…..but that’s another story….

~B

Face it, We all Have Closets

This is one of the most inspirational videos I have ever watched. It has helped me realize how we all “have closets” and we need to not measure our hard to everyone else’s hard and just commiserate that we all have closets.”